The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Every single morning, when Dempsey wakes up and makes his way to us in the living room (or us to him, in the cases where he wakes up first), I greet him with the phrase
"Good morning... it's so good to see you."
He will usually respond with "It's so good to see you, too" and a kiss.
Believe me, I snuggle his little body so hard I feel like I could pop him in two. I rub my face all over his little cheeks and if marking my territory. I make him give me oodles of kisses... until he laughs and squirms away. It's our morning thing. And I love it!
THIS. This is what life is about. This is what makes the hard journey worth it. Realizing that each morning, each new encounter with your loved ones is PRICELESS and worth savoring as long as you possibly can.
Our Lord is merciful, even when it doesn't feel like it. Our Lord is generous, even when it doesn't feel like it. Our Lord is loving, even when it doesn't feel like it. Our Lord is with us, even when it doesn't feel like it. These truths are what carry this mama through.
How can I still have faith when prayers go unanswered? How can I trust a God who allowed cancer to infiltrate my baby's body? I realize that a "no" or "not right now" response from my all-knowing, ever-loving Heavenly Father IS an answer. The validity of that answer doesn't change just because I don't like it or don't understand it. The God of the Bible is unchanging. Unwavering.
A phrase I have clung to through this deeply sanctifying journey is this:
If we knew what God knows, we would ask for exactly what He gives. -Tim Keller
I have seen the works and the heart of the Almighty. Therefore, I will trust Him when my finite mind cannot grasp the reason for current circumstances. I will lean into the hope that oozes off the pages of Scripture. I will choose to believe that the God who created all the things, knows the purpose for all the things. I will choose to walk by faith, not blindly, forward through the valley of childhood cancer. I will continue to pray that the Lord will not allow me to waste even one moment of this journey.
Be at peace today, friends. The Lord is good. His mercies are new every morning! Lean into the new mercies for today and claim this day as a blessing.